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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24952030">A Good Life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinnoid/pseuds/Quinnoid'>Quinnoid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A series of related one/two shots, Background characters - Freeform, Broken Bones, Childhood Trauma, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I swear I'm trying to keep it light guys, Implied/Referenced Animal Death, Insomnia, Nightmares, Proposed ship name: Lovepotion Gone Rogue, Thoughts?, Trans Character, ask to tag, implied/referenced suicidal ideation, implied/referenced trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:09:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,879</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24952030</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinnoid/pseuds/Quinnoid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Azu/Cel/Sasha fluff and hurt/comfort. Lots of comfort and happy moments.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azu/Sasha Racket/Celiquillithon "Cel" Sidebottom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cel woke up to the heavenly smell of coffee wafting through the flat. They took a deep breath and stretched, accidentally hitting Azu in the face. Azu cracked one eye open and gave them a playful glare. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry!” They murmured, leaning over to kiss her nose better. Azu chuckled and pulled them down into a long kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re fine, love.” She said. Cel sighed happily into the kiss, then sat up, patting Azu on the cheek. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not without coffee, I’m not. Smells like Sash made some already!” Before Azu could reply, they jumped out of bed, making a beeline for the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cel,” Azu groaned. They really didn’t need coffee if they were already this energetic. She sighed, and rolled out of bed. She was halfway down the hall when Cel zoomed back into the bedroom. With a shake of her head, she walked to the kitchen, finding two full mugs sitting on the counter and one drying on the drain board. Cel darted back to their coffee mug with their latest project. They had gotten really into robotics, and their most recent project was an overly complex mopping Roomba they’d named Jasper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azu shook her head and took a long sip of her tea. It was made just right, with an attention to detail only Sasha had. She took another sip and watched Cel tinkering, their hands already moving so fast she could hardly keep up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you see Sasha?” Azu asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think she’s on the roof. The window’s open.” Cel pointed at the small kitchen window.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah well. I’m going to start breakfast. What would you like?” Azu asked even though she already knew the answer, and began pulling out the ingredients she needed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pancakes!” Cel downed the rest of their coffee, made a new cup, and then returned to the partially dismantled Jasper. “You know, I’ve missed coffee. I know I had it two days ago, but I’ve missed it. A lot. I don’t know how you and Sash can drink tea, it’s disgusting. But coffee?” Cel sighed happily. “It’s the best.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azu rolled her eyes and began mixing the batter together. Both Cel and Sasha loved pancakes, and by now, she had memorized their favorite recipe. Cel started on their third cup of coffee, fiddling with an assembled Roomba. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Azu, I finished it!” They exclaimed. “You wanna know what I did?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Azu glanced over and smiled before returning her focus to the griddle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, I wired the water tank in through here, where the sucky portion used to be. And not sucky as in bad, sucky as in the vacuum-y part of Jasper. And there’s a timer wired into the control module now, so they won’t just constantly spray water. I tried to set it for every ten seconds exactly, but it came out to every ten point four two seven seconds. I hope it’ll work but I can play with the timer later. Oh! And I gave them a new wall sensor because the old one was getting a little busted. Now they won’t hit the wall, but will sense it before and turn around!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That sounds incredibly complicated for something that takes about ten minutes.” Azu flipped the first pancakes over and glanced out the window. As far as she knew, Sasha hadn’t come back in yet. Then again, she was basically a shadow, and had snuck back in the kitchen window plenty of times with Azu and Cel being none the wiser. It was an expected part of their lives, as much as Cel getting overexcited about chemistry news and Azu forcing them both to sit down and taste test her newest recipes was expected. She walked over to inspect the updated Roomba.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But think of all the things you could do with those ten minutes. Like, find a new recipe. Or begin baking something. Or kissing me. Or kissing Sasha. Or sleeping. Or drinking tea. Or-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, alright I get it.” She kissed Cel on the cheek and walked back over to the pancakes. The first batch was nearly done, a perfect golden brown that had taken many attempts across many weeks to perfect. She flipped them one more time, decided they were good, and spatula-d them onto a plate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna test it out before breakfast!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hold on. How do you know that thing isn’t going to mop the carpets?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel opened their mouth, paused, then shut it again. “I’m sure it’ll be fine?” They squeaked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azu narrowed her eyes and pointed her spatula at them. “Celiquillithon, I swear to the gods, if that thing mops the carpet..”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll build a new sensor! A carpet sensor.” They frowned. “Hmm, the logistics of that are actually.. And then.. But if I did it like..”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oi. What’s that?” Both Azu and Cel jumped in surprise as Sasha came down the hall, still dressed in her pajamas. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gods, Sash.” Azu muttered, hand on her chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning Sash! Thanks for the coffee! It’s a Moomba. Oh boy, that’s a terrible name, retcon! Forget I said that. Anyway it’s a roomba mop! I named them Jasper.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Welcome. ‘S pretty cool, mate.” Sasha said, ruffling Cel’s hair as she padded silently past to her mug and poured herself a cup of coffee. They beamed at her. Sasha was still getting used to them and initiating physical contact was still a bit new, and they really enjoyed hair ruffles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning, love. Did you enjoy your morning?” Azu asked as the second batch finished and she spatula-d them onto the plate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasha nodded and yawned. “Yeah. Sunrise was nice this mornin’. All pinks and purples. I got some pictures to develop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d love to see them when they’re done. Ready to eat?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” Cel jumped up and grabbed plates and silverware for everyone while Sasha grabbed the syrup and butter for herself and Azu, and peanut butter for Cel. There was a flurry of activity as everyone grabbed food and settled down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“S’ real good, Zu,” Sasha mumbled through a mouthful of pancakes. “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yep! Thank you!” Cel seconded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azu couldn’t help but agree. She’d gotten pretty good at making them. “I’m thinking of making cookies again today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ooh really? Can I help?” Cel asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Azu looked over at Sasha, who winced and looked away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I’ve gotta run to the shop today. Mr. Gusset asked if I’d do an invent’ry this weekend. You should make ‘em though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s fine, love. We’ll save them for you. What time will you be back?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hopefully ‘bout four, I think.” Sasha said, finishing up the last of her pancakes. She went over to the sink and began washing her dishes. “Mr. Gusset’s got a bunch of stuff that needs re-appraisin’ and such.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh have fun!” Cel exclaimed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Cel.” Sasha gave them a funny look. “I think you mighta had ‘nough coffee, mate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Cel glanced down and realized their hands were shaking. “Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasha smiled a bit and shook her head as she walked down the hall to get dressed. When she walked back, Azu and Cel were finished eating. Cel was cleaning up the rest of the dishes while Azu sat in her armchair reading one of her romance novels. Sasha gave Azu a quick hug and kiss on the top of her head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have a good day, love,” Azu smiled. “Let us know if your plans change?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Course,” Sasha said. She walked up quietly to Cel and hugged them from behind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mopping the carpets sounds kinda funny,” She whispered, barely loud enough for them to hear. “But I wanna be here when it happens.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasha stepped back as Cel swiveled around and smirked at them, putting a finger to her lips. They grinned back at her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you two scheming about?” Azu looked up from her book. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Scheming?” Cel put their hand to their chest in mock betrayal as Sasha burst out laughing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, Zu, promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel grumbled and started to reach for Sasha before pulling up short. For a moment, she froze, but shook it off and pulled them into another quick hug, reaching up to ruffle their hair. They kissed her on the forehead and whispered conspiratorially, “I’ll wait for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasha stepped back, running her hand through her hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love you guys.” She called as she walked to the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love you too!” They both replied in unison.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sasha quietly opened the door to the apartment. It was still a bit new, with a few creaky floorboards and squeaky hinges she didn’t quite know about, but it was fast becoming home. She knew just how far to open the front door before the top right hinge squeaked, just how much to turn the doorknob before there was a distinct click from the mechanism locking up, just how to step past the singular creaky floorboard in the front hall. Normally she’d avoid all these things, but here, she was safe. She didn’t have to sneak here. The hinge squeaked, the knob clicked, and the floorboard creaked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She took a deep breath. Whatever her partners had made smelled heavenly, and the warm scent of baking enveloped her. She’d never lived anywhere that always smelled this good. She’d never lived with anyone this kind. She’d never lived in a home where food was free, no matter the time, and she could just grab it whenever. Honestly, she realized, she’d never really lived in a home. If this was a home, everywhere else had just been a place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sash!” Cel poked their head through the door, shaking her from her reverie. Their hair was streaked with flour and they were covered in flecks of icing. “We just finished the first batch, c’mon!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasha followed them into the kitchen where Azu was valiantly trying to clean up an enormous amount of flour, batter, and melted chocolate that had somehow been spread all over the floor and counters.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Sasha,” Azu said. “How was work?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey. It was alright. Mr. Gusset didn’t have much he needed doing, but I helped him out with some o’ the maintenance ‘round the place.” Sasha zeroed in on the cookies laid out on the cooling rack. “Can I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re still hot.” Azu said. “We just got them out of the oven. Someone made a bit of a mess and delayed us.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hey! It’s not my fault.” Cel paused. “Well, okay, a little my fault? But not entirely. Anyway I have the perfect solution!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They ran off, and Sasha looked over at Azu quizzically, still trying to decide if cookies were worth burning the roof of her mouth. She made the decision and swiped one, yelped and shoved it in her mouth. It was really hot, but what she could taste through her scalded taste buds was delicious. After swallowing, she panted for a moment to try to cool the sting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you!” Azu laughed. She grabbed Sasha a glass and filled it with water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was good. Hot. But good.” Sasha muttered. Azu beamed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here we go. Presenting Jasper!” Cel set the Roomba down and turned them on. Jasper chirped brightly, and set to work, alternating between spraying and mopping. For a moment, they seemed to be making a dent in the mess, and even Azu looked a little impressed. Suddenly, there was barely discernible click, and the water hose shot out. For a few seconds, nothing happened, and then the timer went off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Water sprayed everywhere, turning the flour into a half dissolved, sticky mess, and splashing both Azu and Cel. Sasha managed to leap out of the way, slamming the off button on Jasper as she did. He powered down with a sad beep, but the water kept leaking from the hose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Celiquillithon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few hours later, the cookies were down, the kitchen was cleaned, and Jasper had been relegated to the balcony where he would make a lovely sprinkler for Azu’s garden. Cel reluctantly parted with them, quietly promising to fix them after they showered. Azu just shook her head and sighed. After dinner, Sasha curled up on the couch with Azu and Cel, just barely leaning against them. They watched a cheesy romance at Azu’s request. Sasha laughed quietly as Cel pretended to gag during the sex scenes. Azu ruffled their flour-free hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the movie was over, Cel looked at Sasha expectantly. “What do you wanna watch?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasha frowned, her leg instantly bouncing. “Whatever you want’s fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel thought for a moment, then got up and grabbed seven random DVD’s and spread them out. “Which ones look good?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ooh,” Azu pointed at a faded copy of Pretty Woman. “This is a good movie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel shot her a look and snatched it up. “It’s one of the worst movies I’ve ever watched. Worse than Fifty Shades! Anyway, Sash, just pick the ones you like the look of and I’ll choose from there, kay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t seen any of the movies in front of her. The Lion King, Mockingjay Pt1, Iron Man 2, Doom, Frozen 2, and Terminator. The Lion King and Frozen 2 looked good, but the rest seemed very action oriented, not to mention more real life than she wanted to see after watching Azu’s movie. Cel also read over the titles, rolled their eyes, and grabbed three new movies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lion King or Frozen?” Sasha asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sweet! Have you seen either of them?” Cel scooped up the DVDs and began putting them away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, no. Didn’t really get to watch things as a kid.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel froze for just a second, just barely long enough for Sasha to notice, before resuming. “Hmm. I actually don’t know which one then. Azu what do you think?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know I’m going to say Frozen.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perfect!” They popped the disk in, murmuring sweet nothings to the old DVD player as it whirred and clunked. They nestled back in between Azu and Sasha with three remotes, easily swapping between them to bring up the movie. Sasha yawned and leaned against them, resting her head on their shoulder. When the opening scene started, Cel put their arms around Azu and Sasha, pulling them both closer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasha fell asleep within the first twenty minutes.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Would you guys like this AU to continue? Lemme know.</p><p>And hey, if you want to send me some requests, you can do so here or on tumblr @half-elf-alchemist</p><p>Ch2 of the Zamid AU will be up Saturday</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some feelings and some background.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few months passed after the Jasper Incident, as they all had taken to calling the disastrous event. Poor Jasper was still relegated to being Azu’s incredibly expensive sprinkler, and Cel was banned from upgrading any other household appliances in regular use. But a tradition of baking and watching movies every weekend had grown, and Cel came to the conclusion that if not for them, it wouldn’t have happened. </p><p> </p><p>Tonight, they were rewatching How To Train Your Dragon for the third time at Sasha’s request. Azu was knitting and Sasha was snuggled against Cel, one arm around their back. She had wrapped them both in a blanket, and they were beginning to doze off when Sasha suddenly sat up. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey Cel?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm?” They looked down at her sleepily and yawned.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I take your last name?” She asked. Cel stared at her, dumbfounded. Azu also looked up, one eyebrow raised. Without looking, they hunted down the remote and paused the movie. </p><p> </p><p>“Are, are you asking to marry me? Cause that’s-”</p><p> </p><p>“What? No why-” Sasha stopped as the connotation dawned on her, and she blushed fiercely. “S-sorry mate, that's not what I meant. Never mind.”</p><p> </p><p>She stood abruptly, running her hand nervously through her hair. </p><p> </p><p>“Wait, Sash,” Cel stood and for the first time in a while, they saw that thrum of fear run through her. They saw her hand twitch reflexively towards one of the knives she always had hidden on her person, saw her stance shift, saw the change in energy as her adrenaline surged. Azu shook her head at Cel, motioning at the couch. <em> ‘Sit’ </em> she mouthed, and they did, because Azu had known Sasha from back then, when she was bouncing from foster home to foster home. <em> ‘Let her go.’ </em></p><p> </p><p>“I.. I need.. I can’t, ‘m sorry,” And then Sasha was gone, somehow melting into shadow that didn’t exist moments before. They heard the kitchen window open, louder than she normally opened it. They couldn’t tell if it was because she was letting them know where she was going or if she was genuinely too scared to care. Cel sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“She’ll be back. Just give her some time.” Azu said, returning to her knitting. </p><p> </p><p>“I was hoping we were past that, you know? I, I didn’t mean to scare her, she just caught me off guard..” They began fidgeting with the seams of the blanket, picking at the seam.</p><p> </p><p>“I know. And she knows that too.” Azu chuckled drily. “Trust me love, she doesn’t enjoy this either. Just give her a little bit of time to relax.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay. Yeah, I can give her time. I’m sorry Az.”</p><p> </p><p>Azu huffed and set her knitting down carefully. “Cel, you didn’t do anything wrong. C’mere.”</p><p> </p><p>They fell into Azu’s arms, letting her wrap them in a tight hug. “These things happen sometimes. When she comes back, we’ll have a talk about this and it’ll all be okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“You think so?”</p><p> </p><p>“Mhm.” She began humming an old lullaby they recognized from a few years ago. They sat like that for a few minutes until the song was over. “You know, Azu Sidebottom doesn’t sound too bad.”</p><p> </p><p>Cel let out a strangled sound. “You both are going to give me a heart attack, I swear.”</p><p> </p><p>“It sounds much better than mine.”</p><p> </p><p>“How did you end up with Buike?”</p><p> </p><p>“Some lazy judge.” Azu laughed. “When a child is abandoned with no known last name, the courts usually assign one. Since I was found by Buike County Fire Rescue, and the judge was an uninventive old man, they named me Buike.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh. I’m sorry.” They murmured. She hugged them tighter. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine. I’ve made peace with my past.” Azu kissed their forehead. “Besides, no reason to be sad when I’ve got you two.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eugh, none of the sticky stuff Az.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm.” Azu hummed amusedly. Cel was still fidgety and uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe if I just went up there?” </p><p> </p><p>“Cel.” Azu frowned, pushing them up so they could see her. “I know you love her. So trust me when I say she’ll be back when she’s ready. Just give her some space.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, I just.. I wish we could skip to the end.” They began fiddling with the blanket again.</p><p> </p><p>“Me too. But she’ll be down soon.”</p><p> </p><p>They sighed and eventually got up and grabbed the old laptop they were disassembling. Azu went back to knitting and humming.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>~~***~~</p><p> </p><p>It was stupid, running away. It was stupid that she’d been living with Azu and Cel for almost a year and this still happened. It was stupid that she’d been free for so long and yet.. The climb up to the roof was a hard one, not that she’d ever tell them, but it was one she knew very well. The crumbling brickwork shifted beneath her slightly as she hoisted herself over the edge. Panting, she sat between two decorative gargoyles. They stared out across the low, sprawling city.</p><p> </p><p>“Why am I like this?” She whispered, knowing the answer. The gargoyles continued to stare into the distance. “Why am I still so scared? They’re gone. They’re all gone.”</p><p> </p><p> ~~***~~</p><p> </p><p>Sasha climbed back through the window a few hours later and snuck back into the living room. The DVD was still paused, and Azu and Cel were sitting, quietly waiting. She paused at the door, just inside the shadows. Cel glanced up worriedly, eyes skating right over her for a moment, before they brightened.</p><p> </p><p>“Sasha!” </p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Sasha slipped out of the shadows. “I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>Cel held up their hand. “First, no need to apologize! It’s okay. Second, tea or coffee?”</p><p> </p><p>“Tea?” Sasha frowned. They jumped up and disappeared in the kitchen, a series of clanks and rattles following them. Azu patted the spot next to her and continued knitting. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you alright?” Azu asked once Sasha had wrapped herself in the blanket and sat down.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sash..” Azu’s voice was low and maybe frustrated, but she continued knitting. “If you don’t want to talk to me, fine. But they need to know you aren’t upset with them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Sasha huffed. “M’ sorry Zu.”</p><p> </p><p>“What for?”</p><p> </p><p>“Y’know. This.” Sasha gestured to herself. Before Azu could respond, Cel walked back in with three mugs. They gave Azu and Sasha a mug of tea and sat down awkwardly with their coffee. Sasha stayed in her blanket cocoon, sipping on the tea. It was good, with just enough sugar and hints of lemon. She could feel both Azu Cel watching her intently, waiting for something.</p><p> </p><p>“M’ sorry Quill.” Sasha murmured. The nickname change was intentional. Quill was her favorite nickname, although they didn’t really like it. She was the only one allowed to use it, as far as she could tell. Even Azu didn’t call them Quill. They sighed, downing the rest of their coffee. </p><p> </p><p>“You don’t need to apologize. Tiny misunderstanding, not a big deal!”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah it is. I didn’t think, just blurted it out, without warnin’. Wasn’t tryin’ to.. ask that.” Sasha tried to burrow deeper into the blanket so she couldn’t be seen, but nearly spilled the tea. </p><p><br/>“I know now. It’s a good idea though. To change it. Shouldn’t be too hard either, we just have to go..” They trailed off, lost in thought.</p><p> </p><p>“I’d like to point out that you don’t have to choose Cel’s last name. You could do anything. Maybe your old last name? Asching right?” Azu said.</p><p> </p><p>“Ascius. Just thought it’d be nice..” She trailed off. They both waited patiently. “You guys are my family.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasha pointedly avoided making eye contact with either of them. She knew the exact face both would be making. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, maybe we can decide this tomorrow? It’s pretty late. Let’s get some sleep.” Azu suggested.</p><p> </p><p>Both Cel and Sasha agreed. Azu took the mugs and went to the kitchen while Cel put their laptop in a safe place. Sasha didn’t move from the couch yet, drained from the emotions and  </p><p> </p><p>“Sasha Sidebottom.” They said, loud enough for Sasha to hear. “I like it.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Requests for this AU or most others are open. Thank you to MEOW_I_am_a_cat for this idea!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sasha has a nightmare. Immediately follows ch3.</p><p>Edit: Apologies! Forgot the CWs! Everything in italics is a nightmare, and there's some slight discussion of childhood trauma/abuse as well.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>A knife whistled past Sasha’s ear, burying itself in the wall with a resounding thud. The wall began to bleed as His laugh echoed. Another knife flew towards her, and she barely dodged it in time.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>“C’mon Sasha,” He murmured, using that saccharine sweet voice reserved for when He was hellbent on breaking them. “No dinner tonight if you keep this up.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Abruptly, Sasha was sitting on the bus, holding one of His bags. He didn’t trust any of them, but she was the best at slipping in and out of places unnoticed. That made her His favorite, and He made sure everyone knew it. The other kids watched her jealously, and whenever He wasn’t looking, made sure she wouldn’t be able to move without the reminder. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The bus doors swung open, and she stepped carefully onto the empty street. She almost wished it was busy. Empty places were always easier to leave an impression on. She walked towards a phone booth, rifling through the bag as if looking for change, when she slammed into someone.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sloppy,” He whispered. Sasha felt the tip of a knife rest under her chin, tipping it up until she was forced to look at him. Her final act of betrayal was refusing to meet his cold, dead eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The world swirled and suddenly she was standing in front of the apartment door, Azu and Cel staring down at her. “What are you talking about? We live alone.” Azu said.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But,” Sasha stuttered, her brain failing to supply the sentence she wanted to scream. “Family?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Uh, I think you’ve got the wrong apartment lil buddy.” Cel gave Azu a knowing look. “It’s just down the way a bit.” They pointed, and somehow, at the end of the hall was the old, battered door. Sasha balked at the splintered thing, the impossibility of it setting off alarm bells. It opened slowly, silently, and a young man walked out, shaggy hair hiding his face.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Brock?” Sasha called uncertainly. Azu and Cel watched in silence as the man lifted a skeletal arm and pushed the hair aside. Clumps of it fell to the floor, revealing a shattered, empty skull. Dead eyes stared at her from Brock’s face, and she screamed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel woke up with a start. It took a moment for them to get their bearings. Sasha was curled up next to their back and Azu was sprawled on their other side, one arm thrown over their stomach, snoring. Sasha muttered something and shifted closer, moving one hand to lightly touch their back. Otherwise, the apartment was silent, and it was still very early in the morning. They listened for a moment, but Sasha seemed to have quieted down as well. Reassured, they began to drift back asleep when she screamed. Azu sat bolt upright as Cel rolled over and scooped Sasha into a tight hug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Sash, hey, shhh.” They whispered, heart pounding. She rarely screamed in her sleep, only when the nightmares got too real. Sasha snapped awake with a sob, throwing her arms around them and burying her face in their chest. “It’s okay. It’s alright. You’re safe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azu put her hand on their shoulder. Cel glanced over, and in the faint moonlight, saw her raising one eyebrow. They shrugged one shoulder. Sasha continued to cry silently into Cel’s chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, love,” Azu whispered, and brushed Sasha’s hand with her own. She motioned for Cel to roll over. “C’mon. You’re okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They cautiously maneuvered Sasha so she was in between them both. Azu laid back down and pulled the blankets up, cocooning her. She carefully settled one arm over Sasha and Cel, waiting for any sign that it was too much. She whimpered something, but it was muffled and distorted by the blankets and tears. Azu glanced at Cel, but they shook their head again and mouthed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stayed like that for a bit. Azu hummed and rubbed her back, and Cel held her, whispering every time they felt her heartbeat stutter. Azu started to doze off again, and the humming faded away. Cel began running their fingers through her hair and whispered, “You still awake?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. ‘M Sorry for wakin’ you guys,” Sasha whispered back. They made a small noise and hugged her tighter. “An’ fer getting snot on you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, you didn’t.” They lied. “Wanna talk about it?” She shook her head and sniffed, pulling back to wipe her eyes. “Alright. Later then. Get some sleep?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasha wriggled backwards into Azu, who woke up enough to shift with her, and pulled Cel towards her, effectively sandwiching herself in between them. They all fell back into a dreamless sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~***~~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azu woke up early for work and carefully extricated herself from the tangle of limbs and blankets. Sasha stirred and blearily blinked up at her. Azu tapped her hand twice, their little signal for </span>
  <em>
    <span>are you okay</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Sasha tapped back once, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Azu smiled and leaned down to kiss her forehead before going to get ready. Sasha snuggled back into Cel’s arms and fell back asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she woke up later, Cel was already out of bed making coffee, having managed to untangle themself without waking her up. She yawned. It was Sunday, so she didn’t have to be up early, but years of never getting to sleep in still stuck with her. With a sigh, she threw the blankets off. Sleepily, she rubbed her eyes, and glanced around. In an instant, snippets of her dream came rushing back. The image of Brock seared itself into her mind, and she winced, closing her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Cel said and Sasha jumped. It was a rare day that they could sneak up on her. They leaned against the doorway, watching her carefully. “You alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Just r‘membered my dream.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Cel sat next to her on the edge of the bed. “Tell me about it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, uh.” Sasha twisted the blanket for a moment. “Was just about Brock. An’ Barrett, but I woke up ‘cause Brock was.. Was dead an’ you and Zu were there? I think? But I was a kid and you weren’t.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Brock, huh.” They said. She shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just, I thought I’d gotten over this, I had gotten over this, you know? I beat him, I escaped. He’s, he’s gone?” Sasha ran her hand through her hair, the other drifting for a knife that she didn’t keep anymore. “But I still have these dreams, I still.. Well like last night. I just, I got, I got scared for no reason? You and Zu, you won’t hurt me, you won’t do what He did, or the others, but I was still scared.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, Sash? You have uhm, you have trauma. And sometimes, things happen, and you just have to deal with it. And it’s okay.” Cel said, watching her carefully. “It’s okay if sometimes you aren’t okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Guess so. ‘M sorry ‘bout it all though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“S’okay buddy.” Cel ruffled Sasha’s hair. “Want some coffee? And more movies? We can talk more if you want when Az gets back from work. Or now, if you wanted to keep talking, please don't let me stop you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nah, it's good. Coffee and movies." Sasha chuckled, and they both stood and moved to the kitchen. Sasha poured two cups of coffee while Cel started to baby the DVD player to life. She heard a clunk and a quiet curse, before Cel switched to rapidfire Japanese. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You good mate?” Sasha called as she finished stirring a scary amount of cream and sugar into Cel’s cup and brought the mugs into the living room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, sorry for cursing so much. The uh, the, the..” They gestured helplessly at the DVD player. “It got mad, but I fixed it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right..” Sasha smiled. “Can we finish How To Train Your Dragon?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Course!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both sat on the couch, and Cel started the movie. Sasha folded herself into their side, and they spent the rest of the day relaxing and watching movies.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! I'm being a bit mean to poor Sasha, so I'll focus on Cel next time. Shoot me a request if you want! Here or on tumblr @half-elf-alchemist. I'll write just about anything SFW.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Insomnia sucks. Thankfully Cel has Azu and Sasha.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Azu had to work late. She was supposed to get off at ten that night, but the hospital was so busy she offered to work an extra three hours to help them stay caught up. She did manage to shoot Cel and Sasha a quick text to let them know, but then got buried under a mountain of patient charts and medication schedules and doctors needing extra hands. She finally left around two, and after a twenty minute drive with the windows down and loud singing to the radio to keep herself awake, Azu made it home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She opened the door as quietly as possible, wincing when the hinge squealed angrily. A loose floorboard creaked as she stepped inside and locked the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s always loudest when you’re trying to be quiet.” She grumbled to herself. After double checking to make sure the door was locked, she kicked off her shoes and started to walk down the hall to the bedroom. A quiet noise from the living room made her pause, and she whirled around in a panic to see a dark, familiar lump on the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cel?” Azu whispered. Cel flinched, and Azu swore she heard them sniffle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Az,” They said, voice cracking. Definitely a sniffle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright, love?” She asked as she walked in and sat down next to them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, uhm,” They sniffled again, looking down at the blanket they were wrapped up tightly in. “I just, I can’t sleep, y’know? And, uhm, I kept waking Sasha up on accident, and she has to go to work early and I felt bad, so I snuck out here. But I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Cel,” Azu sighed. She held out her arms for a hug, and they accepted. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine! I just was getting a bit frustrated, y’know, and.. I’m so tired.” Their voice cracked again. “Why can’t I sleep? I just, I want to sleep Azu. I need to sleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Azu said. She knew why they couldn’t sleep, the science behind insomnia and the mechanics behind the brain’s awake and sleep signals. Cel had rambled for hours about galanin and GABA, about how little neurons in the hypothalamus are in charge of saying, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hey go to sleep!</span>
  </em>
  <span>, about solutions and quick fixes and lavender and melatonin and zquil and all the other sleep aids they had tried. How none of them had worked. “I’m here now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azu knew there wasn’t much she could do that Cel hadn’t already tried. Eventually, they’d have to sleep, and eventually their brain would shut off enough to let them. She just had to be there for them until it did. Cel choked back another sob and hugged her tightly for a moment before sitting up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should get some sleep. I’ll be fine.” Cel muttered, sliding out of her exhausted grasp easily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cel.” Azu said, sternly forcing them to look at her. “I’m not just going to leave you alone. Give me five minutes to go shower, and then I’ll be back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” They whispered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cel?” Both Azu and Cel jumped as Sasha spoke, padding out of the shadows in the hall silently. She froze when she saw both of them sitting on the couch. “Oh. Hi, Zu. Is uh, is everything alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” Cel grumbled as Azu said, “They can’t sleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry for waking you.” They muttered. Azu narrowed her eyes. This bout of insomnia was really making them moody.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t.” Sasha sat down next to them and awkwardly ruffled their hair. They sighed, falling into her slightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you have to work early, and Azu, you just got off and need to rest.” Cel trailed off as Sasha started massaging their head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“S’ alright Quill. You gotta sleep too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel huffed, but the massage was beginning to relax them finally. Azu stood up and started walking towards the bedroom. “I’ll be back in a minute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasha nodded at her, and poked Cel until they grumbled and sat up. She leaned against the arm of the couch, pulling them with her until they laid down with their head on her chest. She started massaging their head again. Instantly, they felt themself start to relax, and their eyes began to close. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“D’you wanna talk about anything or jus’ lay here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel mulled it over for a bit, but the feeling of Sasha’s fingers in their hair was turning their thoughts to mush. “Just wanna sleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right mate.” Sasha’s hand brushed close to their right ear, or what was left of it, and they flinched. She jerked back, whispering. “Sorry, sorry!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” Cel tried to relax again. “Please don’t stop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasha patted the top of their head awkwardly and began again, working her way from the nape of their neck up. “Sorry, mate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.” Cel hummed. For a few minutes, they laid there in silence. They could hear the shower running for a bit, and then the squeal of the faucet when Azu turned the water off. A minute later, she walked down the hall again, dressed in her long pink nightgown and carrying a bed’s worth of pillows and blankets with her. They both stood up long enough to make up a semi-decent bed on the couch. Azu, being the tallest, laid down first. Cel curled up on her chest and Azu wrapped her arms around them. Sasha carefully settled in between their legs, bundled under a large bedsheet. Together, they kind of felt like a heavy blanket wrapping around Cel, cocooning them. Sasha fell asleep almost instantly, relaxing fully across their stomach. They couldn’t really tell if Azu was asleep or not. She probably was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their thoughts turned back into delirion, and after a few minutes of frustratedly fighting it, they finally fell asleep.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It was Cel’s turn in the emotional support sandwich. I’m taking d*n*tions (I’m kidding AO3!) for a weighted blanket for them. This is entirely drawing on my own experiences with chronic insomnia.<br/>Reqs are open, per usual.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Azu's turn for comfort!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I realized while writing the second half that I have literally no clue if human medicine is the same as animal medicine so Azu's a vet nurse now.</p>
<p>CW: Mentions of traumatic events and animal death.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>The door to the room creaked open, and Sasha shot bolt upright, already reaching for the pocketknife under her pillow. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shay?” Azu whispered loudly. “Are you awake?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Course.” Sasha whispered back. Azu, already taller than Sasha despite only being 10 to her 13 ducked into the room, cradling something in her arms. Sasha squinted at her. The moonlight was barely enough to illuminate her, not to mention the bundle she was holding. “What’s that, Zu?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I found a kitten. She was crying outside my window!” Azu shoved the tiny ball of fur into Sasha’s arms. It cried pitifully and tried to nurse on her shirt. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“W-wait, what? I- what?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Can we keep her?” Azu asked hopefully. Sasha looked down at the little calico kitten. Her eyes weren’t even open, and her ears were still folded down. She knew the little kitten wouldn’t survive, not with the way Mr. Rakefine cracked down on kids who broke the rules. Not to mention it cost money to feed animals. But Azu was looking at her with such big, pleading eyes, and it was late and Sasha was tired.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sure mate,” Sasha muttered. She handed the kitten back to Azu. “I’ll get food tomorrow.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>When Azu woke up the next morning, the kitten was gone. Sasha didn’t tell Azu, but Mr. Rakefine had caught her sneaking out to get the food, taken the kitten, and given her a reason to never sneak out again. She was fairly certain he’d killed her. Instead, Sasha told Azu the momma cat was waiting outside to take her baby back. It seemed to placate her, but Sasha wasn’t great at reading people’s emotions.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Azu always tried to save animals. Everytime, she brought them to Sasha, who awkwardly took them and tried to return them to wherever Azu had found them. One day, she didn’t sneak hard enough, and her lies weren’t good enough. Azu found out, in an awkward, tumbling rush of words and stumbling truths. She wished Azu had been mad, had screamed and cried like any of the other kids her age would’ve. Instead she looked at Sasha with such disappointment on her face that it broke Sasha’s heart. They didn’t speak again while Sasha lived at Rakefine’s.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Four years later, Sasha lived with the Racket’s, and Azu was still living with Mr. Rakefine. Barret didn’t let her go back and visit, but Brock was her friend now, even if he sometimes still called her Alex instead of Sasha. Azu never called her Alex. She saw Azu one day while doing a job for Barret near Mr. Rakefine’s. A tall, black man was standing with her. He looked kind and soft, not hard and sharp like Barret, and his clothes looked nice. She held his hand and was smiling and laughing as he led her to a fancy looking car and they drove away. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Sasha knew what it meant. She knew Barret sent her on purpose that day, to show her just how happy Azu was without her. To show her Azu got to go to a home. A proper home. To show her how unworthy she was.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Six long, bloody years passed after that. Sasha sometimes saw Azu, usually volunteering at the local animal shelter. Once, she found an abandoned litter of puppies by one of Barret’s safehouses. After panicking for a few minutes, she walked to the county animal shelter, just to see if they were open. They were. She dropped them off at the door, lingering for just a moment to see her old friend handing a wriggly calico kitten over to an adopter. Azu had grown a lot, but Sasha could still see the little kid who used to follow her around. Before Azu saw her, Sasha ran back to the safehouse, crying. She didn’t want Azu to see who she’d become. What she’d become. Azu probably already knew, and would give her that awful disappointed look all over again.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>A year later, it was splashed all over the news anyway, in the most uncomfortable way possible. Sasha spent months locked in a room in the Gusset house, hardly leaving to use the bathroom, much less eat or go outside. Azu reached out, apparently multiple times, but Sasha didn’t remember much of the first few months. Finally, she showed up at the door, and Bi Ming had been all too glad to let her in, hoping an old friend would force Sasha out of hiding. When Azu barged into the room in the way only she could, Sasha expected to find yet another disappointed scowl or angry glare. Instead, she only found love. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When the front door opened at exactly 6:23 PM, Cel and Sasha knew who was walking in. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Zu,” Sasha called from her spot on the couch. There was no response, and she instantly tensed up and nudged Cel. One hand crept towards her old pocket knife. “Azu?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was a quiet rustle from the hall, and then Azu stepped into the doorway, holding her bloody scrubs and looking exhausted. “Hi.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Cel asked. She shook her head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know we were supposed to go out tonight but,” Azu took a shaky breath. “I need.. I just can’t tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. Okay! That’s fine. I can make.. No, I can take care of dinner. Do you want.. Do you want to talk about anything or just..” Cel trailed off.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to go shower.” Azu said quietly. She began walking down the hall, and after a quick glance at Cel to reassure her, Sasha followed. She fell into her old habits, sneaking quietly into the bedroom without really meaning to. Azu was already sitting on the bed, staring down at her scrubs. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“C’n I have those?” Sasha asked. Azu sighed and held them out, and Sasha grabbed them. “Is there anything I can do?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t go. Please.” Azu whispered. Sasha panicked slightly. Comforting people was decidedly not easy, and normally she went to Azu for advice or help. But she couldn’t exactly ask Azu for advice on how to comfort herself. But Azu did always say that one of the best ways to help someone is to hug them. Sasha dropped the scrubs and sat down next to her, throwing one arm around her. She smelled like copper and antiseptic. Sasha decided not to breathe too deeply. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azu leaned into her, and they stayed like that for a while, listening to Cel clatter about in the kitchen. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There are things that should not ever happen.” Azu said.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did one happen?” Sasha asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azu didn’t answer for a moment. “A little chihuahua, Chewie, came in for surgery to remove some bladder stones. It’s a simple enough procedure, as long as the dog is in good condition and the staff is competent. But something went wrong. After he woke up, he wasn’t acting right. I checked his chart against his fluids, and realized someone gave him four times his dose of lidocaine in less than an hour.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He died.” Azu’s hands clenched. “And he shouldn’t have.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Zu.” Sasha whispered. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not okay. I’m angry! I’m angry, and I’m tired. This is happening too often.” Azu said with an edge Sasha rarely heard in her voice. “I wanted to save animals. Help them. And if they’re beyond saving, help them go gently and painlessly. But I’m not doing that at the clinic. He didn’t.. It hurt him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azu gently slipped out of Sasha’s hug and stood angrily, beginning to pace. “I should quit. I should just quit. Just refuse to show up one day and never go back. I’ll find another job, where I won’t get yelled at by doctors and other nurses and clients all day.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean.. If that’s what you want?” Sasha replied nervously. “Maybe you could find a different clinic?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s like this everywhere. Even at shelters, people are lazy and rude.” Azu stopped pacing and took a deep breath. “The nurses stab each other in the back, the doctors take out their frustrations on the nurses, and the patients-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait you’ve been stabbed in the back?” Sasha yelped. “Who stabbed you?’</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azu stared at her, dumbfounded, and then chuckled. She smiled, albeit halfheartedly, for the first time that night. “It’s an expression, love. For betrayal.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. Oh right, right. Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cel strode in, looking alarmed. “Azu! You didn’t tell me you were stabbed!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“N-no, I misunderstood,” Sasha laughed nervously. Azu smiled again. “Sorry, Zu.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t apologize, it’s alright.” Azu sighed, and she seemed to deflate. She sunk back on the bed. “I’m really tired guys.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, Az.” Cel smiled sadly and patted her shoulder. Sasha looked down at the carpet. “We know. Can we do anything?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment, an unfamiliar spark of anger flashed in Azu’s eyes, but she shook it away when Sasha grabbed her hand. “No. I’ll save my emotions for later. For now, I just want to spend time with you two.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cel frowned. “That’s.. Okay. Just.. make sure later happens soon, yeah? Don’t hold onto it for too long.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, love.” Azu sighed. “I’m going to go shower now. Maybe we can watch a movie after?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course!” Cel said. “I’m gonna go finish dinner.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They darted out the door quickly, and Sasha snatched up Azu’s scrubs. “I’ll take care of these.” She muttered. “Go shower? I c’n put on that 90’s movie you like with the prostitute.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azu smiled. “Thank you, Shay. I really appreciate it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sasha smiled and ran off to get the blood out of Azu’s scrubs. She had figured out a cocktail of vinegar, baking soda, and lemon juice that could pull the stains from just about anything, as long as it was given enough time to set. Afterwards, she went to the kitchen to help Cel finish cooking. They were surrounded by an impressive mess of dishes and stray ingredients.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, hey Sash,” Cel said when they noticed her. “Is she okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sasha scooped up the dirty dishes and took them to the sink to begin scrubbing them. “She said she’s gunna quit.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cel swore viciously. Sasha looked over to see them standing in front of the stove, cradling one hand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oi, Quill!” She said, holding out her hand. “Lemme see.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine, I’m fine! I’ve done worse in the lab. Just being stupid, sorry.” Cel shook their head. “She wants to quit.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I dunno if she was serious or not.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm.” Cel started stirring the pot again. Azu walked into the kitchen, dressed in her pajamas. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I help with anything?” She asked, raising one eyebrow at the slight disaster that seemed to follow Cel everywhere.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope! Dinner’s done, and Sash got the dishes for me.” Cel said, grinning over their shoulder. Azu sighed and pretended to be exasperated as Cel handed her a plate and silverware. “Go ahead. I’m going to go wake the DVD player from the dead.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After a harrowing moment where the old DVD player sparked, singeing Cel’s already burnt hand, the movie was set up and the three settled on the couch with their food. Azu sat in between Cel and Sasha, both of them leaning into her. When everyone was finished, Sasha took the plates and finished cleaning up the kitchen and threw Azu’s scrubs in the wash with the rest of the dirty clothes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She returned to the living room to find Azu and Cel fast asleep. Gently, she shook them both awake, and they sleepily made their way to the bedroom. Sasha stayed up just long enough to move the clothes to the dryer, and then curled up next to Azu, one hand resting on her back. Azu woke up as she settled in and rolled over carefully so as not to disturb Cel.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Shay,” She whispered. Sasha closed her eyes for a moment and relished in the familiar comfort of her old nickname. “Thank you for staying.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Course.” She replied. She rested her hand on Azu’s cheek, then leaned forward and kissed her. Azu gasped, and Sasha broke it with a quiet laugh. She was always so expressive, the littlest things inciting the most adorable reactions. “M’ always here for you, Zu.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And I’m always here for you.” Azu kissed her this time, sweet and gentle as ever. She fell asleep with her head nestled under Azu’s chin. Cel eventually rolled over and sprawled out, partially on top of Azu, one hand gripping Sasha’s.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoyed! This was a fun one to write. Not sure what I'm gonna write next for these three, so if you've got a request or a suggestion, let me know in the comments (not tumblr, I won't be on for a while).<br/>Current ideas are: Azu gets a cat, a deepdive in Cel's past, and/or meeting Zamid.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cel is still an insomniac, and this time it bites them in the ass.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey! This chapter got a lot darker than I wanted. I lightened it up pretty extensively, but there's still a bit of a reference towards being suicidal at the end, so please read carefully. </p><p>The first half in italics is a bit of backstory, the second half is the present.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>It had been a long night of emergency after emergency, and Azu was really looking forward to going back to the house. Eren was probably up by now, preparing breakfast. She turned the music up loud and rolled the windows down as she drove. It was a thirty minute drive with traffic, but Azu hoped she could make it in fifteen. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Despite her efforts, she could feel herself nodding off, the adrenaline of the long night fading. She pulled to a stop at a red light, willing herself not to fall asleep. Sleepily, she glanced around the intersection. There were no other cars, but someone was crossing the street, and one other person was hovering at the opposite crosswalk, waiting to cross. She sighed. The light was taking way too long. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just as the song began to fade into the next one, someone screamed. Azu jumped, hitting her head on the headrest, and looked around wildly. The person who’d been crossing the street was thrown to the ground by the person who’d seemed to be waiting to cross. Without thinking, Azu threw the car in park and ran for the attacker. She was taller than them by a few inches and much broader, and knocked them to the ground easily and pinned them down. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Let go of me!” They had a gruff voice, but squealed when Azu jammed her knee into their chest.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What do you think you’re doing?” She snapped, glaring down at the person. She didn’t wait for an answer. She glanced over to see the other person sitting up a bit dazed. “Are you alright?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They looked at her in confusion and then fear, and Azu’s vision went black.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She woke up not even a minute later, but the offending person was gone. The other person sat next to her, frowning. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh! You’re awake. Good, good. Uhm, I’m really sorry about that. Are you okay?” They asked. Azu blinked and winced. Gingerly, she touched her temple, and her hand came back red and sticky. “Yeah, uh, I called 911, the ambulance is coming, they said to leave you be in case your neck was hurt? Or your back. Which, uhm. Thank you for.. For that by the way. I really appreciate it.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Azu held up her hand to stop them from rambling too much more. Her head hurt, her eyes hurt, and she couldn’t quite see straight. Carefully, she sat up. “Are you alright?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What? Oh. Yeah, I’m fine. Uhm, sorry that you had to, you know, step in, but I’m kinda glad you were there.” They looked away from her and mumbled something quietly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s alright. I’m glad I was here too. I’m Azu.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh! Oh yeah! Cel, they/them, please.” Cel held out their hand, and Azu shook it with her non-bloodied hand. Azu tried to stand, but the world began to spin angrily.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Woah, I don’t think you should move buddy. That guy clocked you pretty good.” Cel put their hand on her shoulder and pushed her back down gently.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah.. yeah.” Azu muttered. “Can you get my phone? It’s in my car.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cel jumped up and darted across the street. Azu leaned back against the brick wall and sighed. She probably had a concussion, but she was fine. She didn’t want to go to the hospital, she didn’t want to cost Eren anymore money. Despite living with him for five years now, she still felt like a stranger in his home. Cel ended up pulling her car around for her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>After a lengthy discussion with the EMTs and police, Cel drove Azu home, and ended up spending the rest of the night with her. Much later, Azu found out Cel was walking because they couldn’t sleep. They had chronic insomnia that had plagued them since they were young, for reasons they weren’t very keen on sharing. Azu made them promise not to go walking so late at night anymore, especially not alone. They begrudgingly agreed, promising to come over to stay with Azu instead.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azu’s phone rang, obnoxiously loud for three in the morning. Sasha cracked open one eye and glared daggers at the offending device as Azu rolled over to look at the caller ID. She didn’t recognize the number, and considered ignoring it in favor of sleeping. Habit and fear of missing an emergency call from the hospital had her answering it anyway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi there, is this Azu Sidebottom?” A quiet voice asked, and Azu’s heart skipped a beat. She hadn’t quite gotten used to her new last name, and hearing it always gave her a little rush of happiness. Sasha sat up, rubbing her eyes and stretching. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yes, it is.” Azu felt a light hand on her shoulder, and looked over to see Sasha staring at her in confusion. She mouthed </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Where’s Quill?”</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and Azu frowned, just realizing Cel wasn’t in bed with them. She pointed towards the living room with a shrug. A restless bout of insomnia would’ve driven them to the couch instead of risking waking Azu or Sasha up, despite them constantly telling Cel they didn’t mind. Sasha got up and snuck out of the room to investigate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-to the hospital.” Azu tuned back into the phone call with a start.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, can you repeat that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other person sighed. “My name is Oscar, and I got your number from Cel. I’m taking them to the hospital.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azu’s heart stopped, and she froze for a moment before jumping out of bed. “What? What happened? Which one are you taking them to? Sasha!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From the other end of the phone, Azu heard colorful Japanese, and then Oscar yelped. “Azu! Hi, so, I’m so sorry, Mr. Wilde here wouldn’t let me call you myself, and also has </span>
  <em>
    <span>very poor delivery.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Cel said animatedly, and Azu couldn’t tell if they were trying to hide their real feelings or if they were really this energetic. Sasha appeared in the doorway, dark eyes watching Azu’s face as she listened. “So, I was, I was kinda stupid, I’m sorry, and I went for a walk, and may or may not have gotten hit. Uh, by a car. It wasn’t my fault though, but I think my arm may be broken.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Your arm is most definitely broken.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“May be! May be broken! But it’s fine, it doesn’t hurt that much.” Azu heard Oscar sigh heavily. “We’re going to uh, the one on Main Street? I think that’s what Maps said was closest.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, Main Street.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cel..” Azu trailed off. Sasha raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I.. I’m sorry Azu.” They said quietly. “I’m really sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine. We’ll be there soon.” Azu said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- Okay. Okay. Thank you.” Cel hung up before Azu could reply. She set her phone down with a heavy sigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s goin’ on, Zu?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to the hospital.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Twenty minutes and potentially a few traffic tickets later, Sasha slid to a stop outside the emergency room. Azu took a moment to calm her racing heart, partially due to Sasha being a </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrifying</span>
  </em>
  <span> driver, partially due to Cel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You two are going to give me early onset heart failure.” Azu grumbled. It took a few minutes to navigate the parking garage, and then another minute to locate the emergency room. They walked inside quickly and found Cel still waiting, but instead of being hyper, they were nearly catatonic. Their right arm was most definitely broken, and they held it out to one side awkwardly. They had a couple scuffs and scrapes as well, but otherwise looked uninjured. A pale man dressed in an extravagant, fur-lined trench coat and a colorful pantsuit stood next to them, scowling and checking his watch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quill!” Sasha ran through the waiting room, dragging Azu behind her. “What happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel jerked to life, smiling much too brightly for it to be genuine. “Hey! Az, Sash, this is Oscar. He kinda hit me with his car. Oscar, this is Azu and Sasha, my girlfriends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oscar smiled and nodded stiffly. “I’ll be covering the bill, and any other expenses for their recovery.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasha stared at him suspiciously, one hand sliding into her pocket where Azu knows she has at least two knives. He glanced down at his watch again, rolled his eyes, and stomped up to the front desk. Sasha looked torn between following him and staying with Cel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cel.” Azu said, a bit more brusquely than she meant. They winced, and the facade fell away almost instantly. They refused to look at her and sat back down, once again holding their arm out awkwardly. Sasha sat down on their left, still tense and wary. “Can I hug you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They looked up at that, cautiously meeting Azu’s eyes with such a painfully hopeful expression that Azu almost wanted to forgive them immediately. Then they grimaced, screwing their eyes shut and taking deep breaths. Sasha grabbed their left hand and squeezed it. “Hurts a little bit.” They whispered after a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” Sasha asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was just out for a walk, and crossing the street, you know, legally, and Oscar just didn’t stop in time. It’s fine, I’m fine, and he’s very sweet, just, just a little standoffish. And very rich. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Very</span>
  </em>
  <span> rich.” They shrugged and hissed in pain. “He said he’d pay for everything as long as I didn’t call the cops.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cops are no good anyways.” Sasha muttered. “But if he doesn’t pay..” The sound of a pocket knife flicking open cut through the bustle of the waiting room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sasha.” Azu admonished, and she grumpily closed it and slid it back into her pocket. “Cel, if he doesn’t pay, we have no way to hold him accountable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah we do.” Sasha said pointedly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aside from illegally threatening him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel sighed. They were saved by Oscar walking back with a nurse, who assessed their arm and took them back for an X-ray and possibly a CT scan. Oscar sat carefully next to Sasha, who glared at him. Azu sat on her other side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why weren’t you paying attention?” Sasha snapped. Azu winced, but Oscar just sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for hitting them. I really am. That’s why I’m paying, and I intend on following up to make sure they heal.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Sasha’s hand slid back into her pocket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s-” Oscar took a deep breath. “You must be Sasha. Cel told me about you. How you might threaten to kill me. And Azu looks like she’s strong enough to punch me through a brick wall. I’m not going to walk out on it, alright? Besides you two being able to murder me, the accident was caught on camera, and if you were to file a lawsuit, I’d most likely lose.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasha grunted, folded her arms, and leaned back in the chair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m very sorry I hurt your partner.” Oscar said quietly. “And even if you weren’t threatening me, I would pay anyway.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How’d it happen?” Azu asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They had the right of way. The light was red, and I just didn’t stop in time, and I guess they didn’t see me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azu frowned. Reckless endangerment was practically Cel’s middle name, but paying that little attention when they were walking around at night was even more concerning. She didn’t press Oscar further, and Sasha didn’t threaten him anymore. She did play with one of her knives for a while until a nurse gave them a very pointed look and Azu made her put it away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After an hour, Cel was walked out by a doctor. They looked exhausted, and their arm was heavily casted and wrapped in a sling. The doctor explained everything to Azu, handed her two prescriptions, and they were sent on their way. Oscar left his address for the bill and gave Azu his number.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Call me if you need anything else, alright?” Oscar asked insistently. Azu agreed. Cel leaned against her while they all talked, nearly falling asleep standing up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, let’s go love.” Azu whispered, kissing their temple. They mumbled something incoherent. “Do you want me to carry you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel nodded. Azu picked them up bridal style, and followed Sasha out the doors. Oscar trailed behind them a ways, and they both went off towards the parking garage. Azu found a bench to sit at, and sat down carefully with Cel in her lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you wake us?” She whispered, not really expecting a response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Always up with me. Wanted to let you rest.” They slurred their words a little and made no attempt to sit up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oscar said you didn’t try to get out of the way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel didn’t answer for a bit, and Azu decided she wasn’t going to push them. They sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” They muttered a few minutes later. Azu sighed. She knew how frustrating it was to be unable to sleep, how easily their mind spun out of control when they laid awake for hours, staring at the ceiling. It didn’t stop her heart from hurting. She hugged Cel even tighter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Promise me Cel.” Azu said into their hair. ”Not again. Please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Cel whispered, and Azu could hear the tears they’d probably been holding back all night threatening to break them. She kissed the top of their head and tilted their chin up gently so they were forced to look up at her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not mad.” She said firmly. “I’m not upset.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel sniffled and wiped their eyes. “Not again.” They promised. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The toll the adrenaline rush had taken on Cel’s body was great enough that they finally fell asleep curled up in Azu’s lap. They didn’t wake up until Sasha pulled into their parking spot, and only because Azu accidentally bumped into the door as she awkwardly clambered out. They stumbled up the stairs and immediately fell into bed. Sasha called Mr. Gusset and asked for the day off, and Azu sent her supervisor a text saying she wouldn’t be in. Not caring whether it was accepted or not, Azu laid down next to Cel and pulled them in close. Sasha kissed them both and a minute later, Azu heard the kitchen window slide open.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Azu woke up, Cel was gone. She jumped out of bed in a panic and walked quickly down the hall. Sasha looked up from her book as Azu appeared and raised an eyebrow. Cel was asleep in her lap, almost comically scrunched into a tight ball. A new blanket was wrapped around them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re gonna be out for a while. I went and got their meds earlier an’ this weighted blanket thing. Turns out the doc gave ‘em a sleeping medicine too? Knocked them right out.” Sasha whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azu smiled and kissed Sasha’s forehead. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Course.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~***~~ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later that week, Azu sat down for coffee with Oscar and found out that his little sister was killed by a drunk driver, and Oscar had done his best to drive as carefully as possible. When he hit Cel, he felt almost like he was the driver who hit his sister and ruined his life, and promised he would do his best to make sure they never felt the way he did. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tbh, I've never been to an actual ER after breaking a bone, so idk what the times are actually like. Also, not sure an ER doc would prescribe Cel ambien, but fuck it, they need it. Cel is in what would be their canon “I’m a monster” stage, except I refuse to believe they’re anything but a cinnamon roll, so they get sadness and insomnia instead. (Sorry Cel, more weighted blankets incoming.)</p><p>I will write something happy soon, I swear. Maybe Valentines Day. Or birthdays. Who knows. Reqs are open for this fic, per usual.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cel finally gets some sleep and dyes their hair.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I finished writing and editing this while sick so. If you can tell, my apologies.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After spending a few minutes on the roof, Sasha climbed back down. The sun had long since risen and she had things to do. She found Cel’s prescriptions in the kitchen and went and had them filled, picking up some groceries as well. In the blanket aisle, Sasha also found a silver weighted blanket, and after a moment's thought, picked that up too. When she got back home, Cel was curled up in the arm of the couch, staring into space.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oi.” Sasha said quietly. They jumped and stared at her blearily. “You okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cel held up their arm. “Hurts.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. Right.” Sasha fumbled through one of the bags and dug out the two bottles. “I got your meds? And I also found this blanket thing, it’s supposed to help, I think. Something about deep tissue.. You know what, Zu will be able to explain it better.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Deep pressure stimulation, helps with relaxation and a whole host of mental disorders. Potentially helps with falling asleep.” Cel said monotonously. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Right..” Sasha muttered, frowning. Aside from starting, they barely moved, barely even looked up at her. She knelt down in front of them. “What’s wrong, mate?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so fucking tired.” They let their head fall forward to their knees. “I can’t sleep. I’m trying, I’m really really trying Sash, but I just lay there. And then I get so frustrated and angry at myself and gods I’m so tired.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Right. Right.” Sasha ran her fingers through her hair. “Look, mate, give me a couple minutes? Take your pain meds and then I’ll sit with you. If you want. Or we can go lay down.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.” Cel took the bottles from her and scanned the instructions with a tired frown. “They gave me ambien? Really?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that bad?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No it’s.. I’ve tried it. It’s kind of a tossup whether it’ll help or hurt. It’s a sedative that they started prescribing in the 80’s or something, and it was supposed to be a miracle drug but it can cause a lot of problems too. Addiction, worse insomnia, more sleep problems, just to name a few.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sasha hummed and set to work cutting the blanket out of its packaging. “You don’t have to take it. ‘S just there if you want.” She set the blanket down on the couch and ruffled their hair. “Need a hand?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah.” They shot her a small smirk and undid both safety caps with one hand. “Skills.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sasha rolled her eyes. “Sure, mate, skills. Water?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Water is offensive.” They swallowed both dry, coughing when the powdery pills stuck for a moment. “Ta-da. Skills.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sasha raised an eyebrow. “Right.. I’ll be back.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She snuck into the bedroom, where Azu was still dead asleep, and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. After a moment’s thought, she snatched her favorite blanket from the ever growing pile and a book and walked back to the living room. Cel was curled back up on the couch, under the weighted blanket. They cracked one eye open and yawned. Sasha sat down and after situating herself, guided Cel to lay down.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be ‘ere, mate.” She threaded her fingers through Cel’s hair. The blonde dye was beginning to fade, their dark brown roots starting to grow out. “Get some sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks Sash.” Cel murmured. “Blanket’s really nice.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Welcome, mate.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A few hours later, after Azu had woken up and even managed to make two cups of tea without waking Cel, Sasha noticed them moving slightly. She glanced down, but they were still asleep. They mumbled something, shifted again, and burrowed into Sasha’s stomach even more.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Zu?” Azu looked up from her own book. “D’you think.. Are they gonna be okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. They just need to sleep.” Azu sighed. Cel mumbled again and got a mouthful of Sasha’s shirt.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Quill...” She grumbled, trying to avoid touching the wet spot. Cel’s face screwed up and they began to sit up, still completely asleep, until they tried to use their broken arm. They woke up with a yelp and a string of inventive curses. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oi, easy mate.” Sasha grabbed their shoulder to keep them from falling back on top of her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This.. bloody hurts.” Cel gritted out. “Wow. This is </span>
  <em>
    <span>almost</span>
  </em>
  <span> as painful as when I blew up that lab table, not quite, but holy gods this hurts.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Breathe Cel.” Azu knelt down in front of them, one hand on their thigh. “I know it hurts, but you’ve got to relax.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cel didn’t move for a few minutes, eyes screwed shut. Sasha slid off the couch, gently so as not to jostle them, and grabbed a glass of water and the pain medicine to bring back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Gods. Thanks Sash. That hurt a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll get used to it.” She said quietly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d prefer you didn’t.” Azu said. “Neither of you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve never broken something and had it hurt so much.” Cel grumbled. “Honestly, it’s like something is out to spite me.” They looked up at the ceiling. “Why? What did I do?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Payback for the Jasper incident?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Azu! That was so long ago.” Cel whined. “I’d like to think that karma would’ve had the decency to be a jerk in the moment, or at least within 5-7 business days.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sasha laughed, a little bitterly. Azu rolled her eyes. “It was maybe three months ago.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s a long time! I was still a suffering undergrad three months ago.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, woe is you, only having to study and do homework.” Azu patted their leg. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was hard! Sash, back me up?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh.” She held her hands up. “I, uh, I don’t have.. I’m gonna find food.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sasha darted off to Cel and Azu’s amusement. They both followed her to the kitchen, Azu still picking fun at Cel.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>~~***~~</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There were an extraordinary amount of consequences that followed breaking an arm. Cel quickly discovered most of them by the end of the first day. Sleeping with a cast? Not comfortable in the slightest, for them or their partners. Showering was now a two or three person job, depending on who was home and able to help them. And using their right hand to eat or write or tinker was entirely out of the question, even with the pain meds. Their arm itched, the cotton-y inside tickling anywhere it was too loose, and they had to resist the urge to scratch. Even their spatial awareness was affected, much to their annoyance, and they constantly knocked the cast against walls and corners.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But nothing was as frustrating as trying to cut and dye their hair one handed. Cel leaned against the tub, fighting the desire to rip the cast off and just suffer the consequences. Azu was forced to go in to work but Sasha was still home, and they figured she’d probably stop them before they got very far. Cel glanced at the time. She was actually most likely on the roof by now, but they didn’t feel like testing that theory.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Gods, I’m stupid.” Cel muttered. They looked down at their arm. Az had drawn beautiful flowers and signed it with her name. Sash had marvelled at the plaster, mumbling something about having a built in weapon, before sketching Catra on Cel’s wrist. But to them, the cast felt like a mask, a pretty, sweet mask that was hiding all of the pain and frustration and exhaustion of a lifetime of sleepless nights and wondering whether this was all there was in the world. A quiet knock on the door startled them out of the beginnings of yet another spiral.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Quill?” Sasha said softly. Cel jumped, looking around guiltily for a moment before shaking their head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can come in.” Sasha pushed the door open, one hand over her eyes. Cel chuckled, but her careful consideration always gave them a little burst of joy. “You don’t have to do that, y’know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. ‘S polite.” Sasha opened her eyes and gave them a small smile. “You alright? Been in here a while.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cel gestured at the bleach and hair dye helplessly. Their cast was stained with streaks of the bleach. “I can’t do it one handed.” They muttered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Sasha looked at the container the hair bleach had come in, scanning the directions before grabbing the bowl of paste. “You want some help?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Really?” Cel looked up hopefully.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. ‘S not that hard. Used to bleach and dye mine all the time back when.. Yeah.” Sasha shrugged and sat on the edge of the tub. “Lean back?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cel obeyed, carefully settling between her legs. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You want just the brown or all of it?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just the roots. It’ll need a few applications.” Cel took a deep breath and closed their eyes. Sasha began painting the bleach in quickly, separating their hair much more easily. “Thanks, Sash.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mhm.” She finished the first coat of bleach and carefully flipped through their hair, double checking she’d gotten all the roots. “Hey Cel?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sasha hardly ever called them Cel anymore. “Yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course!” They lied, but even they heard how forced it sounded. Sasha nudged their side with her foot. It was almost annoying how easily she’d realized they weren’t telling the truth. “I’m just tired.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sasha was quiet for a moment, idly stirring the bleach paste. “I won’t push you. But you gotta talk to someone Quill. If not for yourself, then for Zu ‘n I. An’ if you don’t wanna talk to me, that’s fine, but just. Please?” She paused. “Gods, Azu is better at this than me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cel snorted. “No she’s not.” They stood awkwardly and stretched their stiff joints. Spending thirty minutes sitting on cold tile was painful. Carefully, they sat down on the edge of the tub. “I didn’t have a great time growing up, y’know? Not as bad as you and Az had it but.. It still wasn’t fun. It’s always been hard for me to sleep, and the longer you go, the more you realize life is just a meaningless mess of moving from one enrichment toy to the next until you can’t find happiness in anything. So I looked into the science behind it, even did some research in undergrad for it. But nothing ever worked for me longterm, and I gave up trying.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think you ever told me much ‘bout your childhood.” Sasha glanced over, gauging their reaction. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmph.” Cel didn’t know what to say. Did they want her to know about their mother dying when they were only a baby, how their father could hardly cope with raising them alone and shoved them off to live with their grandfather, how their grandfather was a cruel old man with </span>
  <em>
    <span>ideas </span>
  </em>
  <span>about how Cel should live and act and be? “I never knew my parents, not really. I grew up with my old bastard of a grandfather. He did this,” They gestured at their deformed ear. “And a lot of other things whenever I pissed him off. But it doesn’t matter. He’s dead, I’m alive, and he doesn’t get to run my life anymore. So yeah. Not as bad as it could’ve been.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sasha slid her arm around Cel’s middle and leaned her head on their shoulder. “S’ alright if it’s not okay, Quill.”</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have time to not be okay. I need to focus on grad school and you guys.” Cel huffed. Sasha didn’t say anything for a bit. Cel looked down worriedly after a few minutes. “Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t apologize. ‘S fine.” Sasha sighed. “Time to do the second coat.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cel sat back down on the floor stiffly, waiting to be berated, cuffed upside the head, something to help them figure out what Sasha was feeling. She mixed the paste a little bit and started reapplying it silently. After a minute, she took a deep breath and Cel flinched.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I dunno if Zu ever told you much about what I did. Why I was so tense and jumpy all the time. Still am, I suppose.” She had, and Sasha had told Cel quite a bit as well, but they didn’t know where this was going. She tapped their shoulder and they turned so she could continue working. “I was adopted by a family gang, I guess. Got sorta swept into it an’ lost, and in the end, people died ‘cause of me. My adoptive.. uh, father went to prison, for life, an’ I got sent to live with the Gusset’s. Bi Ming rescued me, but I still spiralled. Bad. Didn’t hardly eat or anythin’ for a while, ‘til Zu knocked some sense back into me. Then I moved in here an’ it took me a bit, but I got back on my feet and, I guess my point is, Mr. Gusset mighta helped in getting me outta that situation, but you and Zu are the reason I’m alive. I would’nt’ve gotten better, happy without your help.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sasha trailed off, and Cel could see her trying to form the words that would get them to believe her, get them to give in. She didn’t need to.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright.” They murmured. “I hear you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The conversation devolved after that, until the hair bleach had finally done its job and lightened their hair enough for the blonde dye to soak in. Sasha began painting it in carefully, wearing gloves so it didn’t stain her hands. When it was done, she helped them put the cap on and sat down on the ground. Cel threw one arm around her, pulling her in to lean on them. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I love you, Quill. I really, really love you. An’ I’d much like to keep you around.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too, Sash. I’m not planning on going anywhere.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>To anyone who read this and went, “hey sasha got those meds real fast”, I’m really trying to be nice to Cel, this arc got a bit brutal for a fluff fic. Also. Cel is a bit OOC, but they’re precanon and sad and a bit delirious from just absolutely no sleep. Which speaking of, feeling a bit odd about this ship/story with recent episodes giving Azu and Cel’s ages and the progression of everything recently so. Thoughts? I’ll continue this if everyone else feels pretty chill, but if you’re feeling odd about it too, I’ll go ahead and end this, with maybe an epilogue chapter to kinda tie it off.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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